It's rematch time, Cucumba 8).

Welp, get your boots on because I'll do my absolute best this time around. If you win, you get free ftp space ;D.

I accept your challenge, though my response time may be delayed thanks to the current number of challenges I have and my busy schedule.

Fret not though, big bad Agent Smith is about to be deleted twice.

I shall ref this match the the best of 3 rounds. The arena will be an ice cavern with various chambers and tunnels which wind endlessly in circles. Somewhere deep within this cavern is the main chamber where KelesK meditates. There, encased in ice, is the cracked hilt of Cucumba's ban sabre.

Begin the smacktalk!

I've got some new tricks up my sleeve this time around, Cucumba , so you'll just have to wipe that smirk off your face and the crap off your shoe, because you smell.

Bla . . . bla . . . bla . . .

Same old song and dance Smith . . . I hope you spent your off time in writing workshops, or you'll be crying when I get my freak on.

"Huuh," Cucumba wakes up from a nightmare, drenched in a cold sweat. "Smith... why did I dream of him?" Cucumba gets out of his dark green bunk and goes to the mirror, washing his face. "It was so real, but I'm already starting to forget what happened."

He takes out his tooth brush and paste and begins to brush his teeth with warm water. He stares into the mirror, trying to remember what the dream was about. "What was the god damned dream about." He strains himself some more, spitting out the remaining tooth paste. "He was here, free, but it wasn't him... hmm, ahh forget it."

A voice cracks through the comm speaker in his room, "Cucumba?" The question makes Cucumba jump back and hit his head on the metal wall.

"Ow! Yes, what is it?" Cucumba responds, rubbing his aching head.

"It's the cargo ship, we've received a distress signal from it."

"What?!" asks Cucumba, "What is the Z.S.T.'s condition? Is it still carrying Smith?"

"We've... um, we've lost all control over it. I'm getting no readings what-so-ever. I'm sorry," the operator responds, "But we're already loading in some officers to take him do-"

"NO!" Shouts Cucumba, "Do not send anyone, you'll only be adding to his army. I will go and deal with him... again." Within minutes, Cucumba has equiped his suit, ban sabre, and other equipement.

Cucumba walks abnormally fast towards the dock bay, pushing through any of the normal citizens of the board. "Hey, it's Cucumba!" says one of the citizens.

"Hey, Cucumba! Howdy Cucumba. Hey, Cummer!" Cucumba continues to push through the crowd and reaches the Docking doors. He goes through and closes the doors behind him to keep everyone else out.

A ship blastes through the open port doors and into the atmosphere, creating an incredibly loud boom as it rockets out.

I need to get there before he finds the other one, thinks Cucumba, gripping his ban sabre. It is much too powerful for him and for me. Even I was lost in it's blazing power, and for that, I sealed it in ice.

The ship roars into the frozen air, ice pelting it as it had the cargo ship that carried Smith many days ago. Cucumba masterfully controls the ship, edging it to and fro, dodging any of the pillars of ice. He notices a break in the normal rough ice and a piece of frozen metal protruding from frozen ground and guides the ship down to that area.

Landing gear pushes out from the hull and stops in position. The ship lands firmly on the frozen surface. The back door opens and crushes one of the smaller pillars beneath it, sending shards of ice all over the ground. Cucumba steps out of the large ship, his presence creating a slightly green aura around him.

Cucumba walks over to the metal protrusion, wiping away some of the ice. "ESF-13282 A, those poor souls... I wonder if any where able to escape the ice or Smith..."

Cucumba closes his eyes for a second, thinking...
"Please no! Please don't! Ahh!" Screams a voice.
"Thank you..." says another voice, darker, more evil natured sounding.

Cucumba steps back a foot, shocked at what he had just seen and heard. "They're gone now. He has a counter-part now, I must deal with 2 Smiths, but who knows what he can find," Cucumba looks at the footsteps leading to the cave, "in that cave, that will serve him..."

Cucumba walks through the wind and the snow into the entrance, noticing the perfection of nature's ice sculpturing, the magnificant ice structures gleaming in what little light there was in that cave. It's magnificant darkness pierced by the rays of reflected light, signifying Cucumba's perilous struggle against the his opponent.

This will probably be the hardest challenge I've faced yet, Cucumba's mind races of all the possibly problems he is going to face within the next couple of hours. If he has broken through my own code, who knows what else he can break through... maybe even this world's code, this universe's code, this plane of existence. He might possibly destroy everything that we have set into place. I must stop him. He has become too powerful for himself to control.

Cucumba comes to a large cavern in the cave. It's almost like a sphere with small cracks at the top letting in only small amounts of light, but due to the perfect design of crystals and ice, the whole room was lit up.

A dark figure is seen in the middle, standing infront of a crystal formation which emits a brilliant green glow. Cucumba's eyes remain focused at the figure, waiting for it to move. The figure's hands rise into the air and strike into the crystal, breaking free a hilt of something... Cucumba stains to see what it is.

What is it... what is it... Cucumba thinks, No! No, I didn't put it there, how did he get it? His thinking is distracted by a sound behind him. Cucumba turns around only to meet face to face with Smith.

"Mr. Cucumba!" the copy shouts, "We meet again. I hope you're not surprised. I've already found the sabre, as you can see. But you won't be around long enough to whitness my uprise, and for that, I'm sorry."

Smith jams his hand into the mighty Cucumba, but this time it's different. Cucumba can't stop it, for it's much too strong. "Smith, no, you don't und-er--stan--" Smith's forceful transformation of Cucumba is successful, and Cucumba is fully transformed into another Smith.

"At last, we're complete..." says the new Smith.

--------------------------

Cucumba awakes in the same room he was in a moment ago. He can still feel the cold air and hear the wind outside. He can still feel himself and what he is wearing. But he senses something different... he is not where he was a moment ago. His senses tell him he is, but he knows he's not.

"Where am I?" shouts Cucumba, "What have you done?"

You know where... who you are now, responds Smith through his mind, You know why you are here and what your purpose is now...

"NO!" shouts Cucumba, "This can't be! You can't convert me, it's impossible. I am immune to your code. This is only a dream... and you can wake yourself up from dreams."

Try all you want, but you can never be free... we are one now, Cucumba. We will remain one for all time.

Smith appears before Cucumba, completely furnished and new. "Hello, Mr. Cucumba. I hope you like your new prison, it was inspired by... you." Laughter is heard all around the room, Smith's laughter.

"Do you expect me to stand idle and let you destroy all that I stand for?" asks Cucumba, staring angrily at the new foe.

"Of course not, Mr. Cucumba. You're going to be doing the destruction!" Smith laughs back, accompanied by more hollow laughter around the cave.

Cucumba jolts forward, throwing a punch through Smith. "Oh, good one, Mr. Cucumba. But you forget, this is my world now..." The hole that Cucumba's punch caused seals back up.

A rock flies up from behind Cucumba, knocking him onto the ground. A boulder from the ceiling cracks off and crashes down, but Cucumba is far too fast and cunning to be attacked again. He whips out his sabre, slicing the rock down the middle as he cracks up straight.

"Even in your world, I'm still the mightier force. Nothing you do can put an end to my valor and strength." says Cucumba," You can never put an end to me, Smith. But your death, on the other hand, is... inevitable."

Smith cringes at that word and rushes towards Cucumba, landing punch after punch onto the mighty Pickle. Cucumba doesn't even attempt to dodge the hits as they are only doing minor damage.

"What is this? Why can't I harm you?" asks Smith angrily.

"You may have taken my body, Smith, but you'll never take my mind or spirit. I told you before and I'll tell you again, this is only a dream." The green machine simply throws his leg out, sending Smith reeling 30-40-50 feet back and into the wall of the cave.

"You can never beat me, Smith... never," says Cucumba. "I've already won this thinking match, check mate."

"Think what you want, Mr. Cucumba," spits out the virus, "Just remember, you are trapped in here for as long as I want."

Cucumba remains in his fixed position, thinking of a way to escape this new puzzle of a problem. Wondering how to wake up from the sleepless dream.

Smith, on the other hand, contemplates how to torture his newly found prisoner. After years of searching, he finally has him in his grasp, but he can't seem to control him as he wishes... but he can still have fun.

The wind still blows through the cracks of the dream cave, snow withering through...

/me nudges Cucumba.

j00 can't run!

I've been working on my round with what little spare time I've had . . . I should have it up by thursday with any luck.

Darn, that means you've had lots of time to pwn me .

Actually no, I only have a paragraph written. I have had alot of time thinking about how I'm going to pwn you though.

It was to be the 100 year storm.

The people of Forumscant moved through the crowded threads, looking to finish business before the Modiwans shut down the city. Signatures and Avatars were traded, while others haggled over release rights to models and skins. In darker corners, aim bots were traded and wares distributed from the back of E-Donkey carts under the nose of Modiwans. The skies were a dark grey, threatening to fall upon the city at any time.

As busy in preparation as they were, not one was aware of the danger that brewed a second storm on the outsides of the city wall . . .

. . . save one.

To the Modiwans manning the active user consoles, storm preparations were underway and running relatively smooth. With the exception of a lost troop transport, all seemed well. "Sir, Pride and Karrde are reporting a smooth lockdown of Suggestions," said TwisteR, "but I still can't reach that transport."

"Maybe it's just atmospheric interference, comms have been goofy today," replied OptimusPrime.

"I don't like this; let’s send out a retrieval team, every minute out in that cold can mean death for the troops," barked Deverz, "where did we get their last transmission from."

"Alpha Tango One Niner was last sounding at Forum ID . . . right over the old clan forum sir," TwisteR gulped. "That's a bad sign isn't it?"

"Yes it is, mobilize 4 squads and send them . . ."
"No, cancel that order."
"Admin on deck," shouted xXShadowXx.

"Deverz, that shuttle had Smith.ZST on it," stated Cucumba calmly. "If we send any more troops, we send them to their deaths. He must have escaped."

"Heh, so you finally screwed something up. I always knew you were all blown out of proportion, some legendary admin master you are," snorted Deverz indignantly.

"Now is not the time. Engar, prepare the drop ship."
"As you wish, my master."

<HR>

Engar flew over the wall that stood sentry over Forumscant. Battered and bruised it had stood for 1,000 cycles, and it was well worn and cracked from the abuse. Guard turrets followed the drop ship as it left the safety of Forumscant. Cucumba sat in the drop area with deep thoughts running through his mind behind his opaque, mirrored sunglasses. He wondered how Smith had escaped, and the only answer that he had was evolution.

Smith would be different this time; he must have been changed by touching Cucumba's code. It was the only sensible answer to the conundrum presented. Smith could not have escaped, but perhaps Smith.Cuc could. It would not be impossible; no, instead quite probable that Smith had evolved as the Verdant Leviathan was freed from Cucatoth by mingling code with an admin.

Engar watched his screens with mechanical precision. This place, and places like it, were the strongholds of chaos outside the city proper. Many times had this side in particular been used to raid the peaceful denizens of Forumscant. A moment of let down guard could mean disaster for he and Cucumba both.

The old clan forums lie in ruins. Graffiti littered the walls of the ruined structures; "[DBZ] is the 1337 sauce", "-]GF[- is teh pwn", "Saiyan Elite are nubcakes", and "DBZ uses aim bots" all written for posterity. All signs of the devastation of an Admin Master. Engar knew the story well; it was constantly tossed about in the barracks by the older Modiwans and Modiwan Knights. VT had brought this about when the DBZ clan hacked the web homes of clan GF. No longer amused with their constant antics, the development council ruled that the clan forums should be destroyed to restore peace and order throughout the forums. VT executed a few key members, and destroyed their portion of the town. All the older members of Forumscant could still taste the smoke and hear the din of hundreds of clanners running for their lives.

Still, things here were over, and the ruins provided shelter for spam demons, but nothing more. A massive wall had been erected to separate maturity from immaturity. Ban Cannons stood silent vigil over a dead place that was nothing more than distant memories.

Sadly for Engar, not all things are so easy. Several Smiths had made their way to the top of a nearby ruin. They watched in unison, which meant he knew they were coming. One Smith reached up to his ear piece and nodded. He silently drew his pistol, the others followed suite. Like a battery of cannons, they moved with purpose, aiming the guns at the drop ship.

Then they opened fire.

The synchronized wall of .50 AE rounds tore up critical avionics on the drop ship; Engar never had a chance to dodge.

"Master, I'll never make it to the drop zone, you’ll have to get off here."
"I understand. Do not engage them on the ground when you eject, make your way to Forumscant immediately."
"Sir, you would be overwhelmed by his replicants . . ."
"So will you, head back to the city and warn them. And Engar . . ."
"Yes my master?"
"If you see me with them, it is too late for me. I will no longer be your ally."
" . . . "

The two warriors nodded, at once equals and teacher and pupil. Engar understood all to well that this battle would be the last one. He began to make emergency eject checks while Cucumba solemnly made his way to the drop doors.

Cucumba leapt from the drop ship, arms spread wide, face down. Engar pulled the craft around, and made for the wall as alerts and alarms warned him that avionics were about to fail. The trip back would be just a little too long. Engar's piloting skills brought him far enough, but no further. He ejected, leaving the craft to its own fate in the ghosts of clans past.

Engar hit the ground running, and could hear the replicant virii behind him. He leapt for the wall, scrambling to pull his not inconsiderable force talents to bear. The Smiths stopped and smiled, nodding as their leader called them back. He would be alone now . . .

. . . and he was, after all, their target.

Cucumba fell silently, only the flapping of his duster remained as he free fell towards a shell of a thread. He slammed loudly into the wall, kicking up a cloud of debris that signaled his arrival. 10,000 teeth shined in the dark.

The Smiths approached the ruin, and carefully circled the building. The walls finished falling and in the center the kneeling figure of the Jade Behemoth rose. The Smith army charged. The mighty admin gritted his teeth, and snorted mist into the cold air. Smith was the first to explode into action, hurling a mighty right punch at the verdant Leviathan. The admin dodged to the outside, and pulled the Virus' arm. Smith regained his balance by flipping forward and landed in a back kick, which nearly clipped the next Smith as the spam bane ducked out of the way. The second smith came in with a knee which Cucumba blocked with his palms. A third smith launched an axe kick aimed at the back of the Green Machine's neck. Cucumba put his hands on the floor and let the kick slide off his shoulders, thrusting his feet into the faces of the first two, who neatly dodged the attack. He quickly countered, spinning his legs to strike the third and oncoming fourth Smith. The Smiths smiled, he could dodge a few, but not all of them.

"It appears the system has failed . . ," Smith said with delicious, revenge laden eagerness on his voice.

Cucumba smiled as well, it would not be this easy. The smiths attacked in synchronicity again, but this time there was only air. A swarm of diminutive demons exploded out of the crowd of virii. Cucumba knew full well that the actual Smith was waiting at the shuttle, not here. The replicants opened fire on the swarm, missing as the hit demons would separate into smaller demons. Again, one Smith touched his earpiece and smiled. They watched as the horrid swarm flew off to the mountains under the cover of the storm of the century.

<HR>

The mountains stood as grim guardians of the land, vigilant for time immemorial and silent for longer still. They cast their shadows in the darkness of the coming storm, blotting out the remaining light. It was in these conditions that Cucumba found what he was looking for; the ruined transport, smashed open like an egg upon the craggy rocks of the mountainside.

The ancient horror didn't need search long for his quarry (or was it his hunter) amongst the wind-razed cliffs. He spotted the soft glow just over the snow line. A cave slicked with Ice from runoff water ran deep into the heart of the mountain. Cucumba made his way slowly to the lip of the cave, watching his back and step.

The cave was obviously made, and not a natural formation, which disturbed the Jade Behemoth slightly, but not enough to deter him. The admin wandered down its corridors for a while, studying every adjacent chamber with the force, afraid to walk headlong into a wall of replicants with this slippery terrain. While searching, he could feel the presence of something familiar, but not something he could easily put his finger on. It came with crystal clarity to the mighty admin that he was walking into a well prepared trap, but there were no other choices. He had to defeat Smith here and now . . . no matter the price.

Rounding the corner, Cucumba could see a large chamber slicked in ice, behind it gray stone lay trapped. In the center of the room he could see a large column of frozen run off. Within lay a familiar sight . . . a silhouette. Cucumba could feel the sleeping being's power even in his catatonic state. It was Kelesk.

Cucumba snarled, Kelesk could not be awakened during the fight, or he would certainly cause problems. But there were more pressing matters, Smith was in here somewhere. As the admin pondered his eyes drifted to a hole in the ice . . . something had been removed from it.

It was then that the admin heard the hiss of an igniting ban saber.

"Quite the little cutting tool you have here."
"Smith."

Smith moved in from an adjacent chamber riddled with stalagmites and stalactites. As usual his gait was pompous, and his suit was impeccable.

"Surprised to see me, Mr. Pickle?"
"Not terribly, some **** floats when you flush it."
"Now, now, that's not nice. All I do is break out of your prison and send you some personal greeting cards and you get all bent out of shape," said Smith with a wicked smile.
"If you think waving a ban saber in front of me scares me, you are quite wrong."
"Not at all, this is to make the fight interesting, if I even need it," Smith paused. "I think you'll find that I'm loaded with surprises this time. Value added software if you will."
"I think you still misunderstand exactly what I am, but then that is to be expected of a flawed being such as yourself. Your scope is terribly limited, since you can never understand what it is outside the box, much less see for yourself," retorted the Jade Behemoth.

Smith frowned in response. He put the ban saber away on his belt, tucked beneath his coat. Cucumba put one hand out and waved Smith on as the virus cracked its neck and knuckles. Smith dropped into an aggressive stance himself, and began to walk towards the green machine.

The two powerful entities collided, sparks ignited in the matrix code, and the system fought to render all the information posted to the buffer. Smith started with a barrage of punches, leading with the left this time as Cucumba used his one hand to block the intendant blows. Smith launched a low front kick, which was timely diverted by Cucumba's knee. Smith reached for the verdant leviathan's arm, pulling on his duster as he did so. The ancient spam bane didn't seem too concerned, as Smith couldn't convert him, or so he thought. Smith smiled with glee as his fingers drove deep into the spam bane's side. The black liquid code began to invade and Cucumba's eyes opened wide with sudden realization.

The firewall had failed.

The tar began to spread faster and Smith reveled in the moment of his triumph.

A ribbon of green passed through the air and nearly severed Smith's arm at the shoulder, had he not dodged the connection would have been disastrously disengaged. Smith stood back in horror, not understanding how Cucumba could move while being converted. He recomposed himself quickly and put out a small smoldering spot on his elbow.

Cucumba stood with his bansaber at the ready, and suddenly disengaged it.

"I gather you noticed, Mr. Pickle, that things are now VERY different."
"I have, but that won't happen twice, so I hope you enjoyed it.
"We shall see. There is more than one way to slice a Cucumber."

At that moment, Smith's began to pour into the chamber. Hundreds of Smiths all with singular purpose. Cucumba looked around and gritted his teeth; this would be bad. He straightened his duster, and assumed a stance that allowed for flexible attacks in all directions. The Smiths removed their glasses in unison, straightened their ties, and cracked their necks.

Cucumba smiled as the first of the Smiths charged. He now had a plan, but it had to be perfect. It had to be done just right. Smith needed to believe he had the upper hand. Cucumba blocked an incoming side kick, rolling to Smiths back, who was prepared with a spinning back kick. Cucumba rolled again, letting the kick clip him on his side. The green machine kicked low, tripping the attacking Smith, who back flipped into a round off. The Jade Behemoth had no time to enjoy his gained ground as he sensed the other Smiths approaching. He dodged hard to the left, allowing Smith's fist to run past his face. Cucumba launched an elbow into that Virus' rib, and then quickly jumped over his back with a rolling back flip. Cucumba slammed his spear hands into the replicant's spine in several places. The replicant grimaced as his body went stiff, and he felt the admin reach around his waist. The swarm attacked en masse now, as the Verdant Leviathan swung the disabled Smith around like a riot shield.

The original Smith laughed, standing on a rock with his arms folded over his chest like a hellish supervisor. It would be over soon.

Cucumba felt a massive stomping kick land on the back of his knee, sending him hard to the ground and causing him to drop his replicant shield. He looked up with a grimace to see a circle of Smith's over head, each cracking his knuckles with balled fists. The original Smith relished in the sounds of mugging as the mighty admin was beaten and dragged from the crowd to his feet.

Smith looked at the pathetic admin, glasses broken, ripped shirt and black bruises appearing on his face. Cucumba spat a stream of pearly green fluid from his mouth, obviously his blood, at the feet of the lead Smith. "Once again a sorry show of disrespect to an obviously superior fighter," snorted Smith. "You are pathetic, you know that? Look at you, greatest fighter in the entire city, and you've fallen so fast."

The Smith lynch mob held the spam bane fast, holding him up while his legs failed him.

Smith walked closer, speaking solemnly as he did so, "Now, prepare for perfection within me."

The cavern began to shake, and cracks appeared in the ice surrounding Kelesk. Smith snarled, he knew Cucumba's power inside and out now, it would be impossible for him to hide power from him. Cucumba should be at his limit.

Apparently he was not, and the mountain shook to the core as the matrix began to become corrupted around them. Holes in the artificial reality began to appear. The visual buffers couldn't take the constant updates and could not make sense of what was happening. The Smith's holding the Jade Behemoth began to look at him with a mixture of annoyance and awe as they let him go. Pebbles began to rise from the floor as a giant crack split the cavern and the structure of the bedrock began to moan in protest. Cucumba stood on his own, a smile on his face along with a third eye as he rose.

Smith snarled, he had never seen this power before, and it was too late to master it now. "Don't bother Smith, you may have stolen many things from me, but you are a limited being that has to follow the rules here. I do not. This is the onigan, and it will be the end of your existence," Cucumba said in a strange three voice choir. A dark, sinister presence spoke in the third voice, sounding like the guttural uttering of some monster deep beneath the waves. "Prepare to understand true horror."

Smith smirked until Cucumba easily dodged six simultaneous attacks; a trio of side kicks, one punch, a head butt, and an elbow from behind he could not have possibly seen. Twisted in an impossible fashion mid air, Cucumba launched two kicks and a punch that leveled all 6 smiths, sending them careening into the cavern walls.

Cucumba flexed and smiled a slightly disheveled smile that hinted at madness. His canines had grown into fangs and claws extended from his fingertips, and in one moment he disappeared into a cloud of black featureless demons. Smith stared on in horror as the sound of a ban saber was heard all around them. One Smith fell into pieces, ripped to shreds by a fleeting glimpse of green, burning light amongst a cloud of bat-like, faceless demons. They drew their guns and fired at the nameless swarm, missing each time and causing the cavern to rumble in disapproval. Smith snarled at them to stop. The swarm grabbed a Smith replicant, dragging him to the ceiling as he desperately tried to infect one of the demons. First one arm dropped to the ground as the ban saber again appeared in the cloud of monsters. Smith's arm returned to that of a spam demon, the viral infection ended for one poor soul. The replicant was dragged across the ceiling, losing parts as he went. A shower of spam demon blood fell from the air, spraying the smiths with their own victims’ viscera.

The cloud of demons spread out all around them, confusing them further. One Smith fruitlessly blocked the bansaber with his arm and fell in half; another was impaled through the face with the legendary IP weapon. A Replicant on the other side of the room was broken in two by a mighty unseen blow.

In the ice, Kelesk twitched, on the verge of waking.

Smith watched in horror and lack of understanding as his replicants were torn to pieces, one even appeared to be bitten in half. The last of the horde fell, and the cloud of demons reformed into the mighty admin, his back to smith.

"Dead, they are all dead."

"More, I need more! That's the best thing about me, Admin; there is so much of me to go around."

Cucumba turned, his wounds healed, and his glasses mysteriously repaired. The shaking subsided and the third eye was gone. "Bring them, bring them one and all Smith," roared Cucumba, a hint of madness remaining. "Bring them to sacrifice before the god of battle!"

Smith dashed at the Jade Behemoth as more Smiths wound their way through the caverns, drawing his purloined ban saber as he drew within range. The hissing IP weapons clashed in a cacophony of noisy protest. Cucumba back spun, and slashed at the ban saber with astounding force, breaking free Smith's control hand. The mighty admin brought his ban saber around, raising it high above his head. Smith dove in with his control hand, elbowing the admin in the ribs, and regained control of his ban saber. The two circled each other, connecting blades as a whirlwind of strikes and parries bounced off one another. Cucumba separated into the horrid swarm once again, and the faceless demons preceded the terrible tremors. Smith struggled to regain balance, and watched as the swarm left through one of the tunnels.

Smith gave chase, yelling as he went, "COWARD! THERE IS NO RUNNING OR HIDING FROM ME"

Through the dark ahead, Smith could see the swarm go into another open chamber, this one bigger than the first. Cucumba reformed on top of a large ice shelf and smiled unhinged as he waved the virus on.

Smith ran forward, his red ban saber blazing a trail across the dimly lit space as the Jade Behemoth's green ban saber roared to life, cutting through the Ice as he brandished it low. Smith held his horizontally out from his arm, trailing behind him. Smith swung his across the horizon, attempting to eviscerate the mighty admin, while the Jade Behemoth flipped over the blade, dodging with mere millimeters between his head and certain death. Smith pulled the blade close to him, and spun to hit the landing admin. Cucumba was ready though with a back block, roll and spinning hook kick that sent Smith spinning through the air. The Verdant Leviathan rushed in with a crazed look in his eye, and his off hand pulled back for the punch of the day.

Smith's eyes opened wide as he saw the spiraling doom coming his way. He quickly extended his ban saber into the oncoming admin, who dodged at the very last moment. Smith landed with a small explosion of shattered ice, one hand down on the ground, and his feet spread apart. He roared and brandished his stolen saber once again. Smith charged, slamming his blade repeatedly into Cucumba's raised guards. All he needed was some more time to gather his replicants . . .

Cucumba struggled against the onslaught of withering blows, barely raising his ban saber to meet the next. Finally he saw an opening as Smith raised his saber too high, and blasted him with the force, sending him skidding across the ice. Smith looked up from his disbelief to see ban daggers fly out of the admin's boots and take their guard at the admin's sides. Smith scowled as the third eye burned its way through Cucumba's forehead again, and the mountain began to shake in protest. Smith could perceive that the admin's power was now barely contained by his form, and what knowledge he gleaned of Cucumba's power through their intertwined code never revealed this. This power, why do I not have this power?

Cucumba smiled haughtily at Smith, "You've stolen something you don't understand Smith."

Smith sneered silently.

"You have all the power of my being, but not the nearest clue how to unlock it. I have spent Millennia learning things that you could never hope to understand. I have unlocked the key to my body's power. You still need to learn it. Fool, nothing has prepared you to assimilate the knowledge of the old ones."

Smith roared and charged Cucumba again. This time the admin gingerly sidestepped and guided Smith's bansaber out of the way. Smith felt himself lurch too far forward; this would be the end for this poor host.

Cucumba swung down, only to be drop kicked by an arriving replicant. He stumbled back, nearly falling over. And he smiled, the ruse was going perfectly. Smith picked himself off the ground and had his replicants attack in a horde.

The replicants kept the green machine at bay while the Virus searched deep within himself for the secret which he needed. Cucumba was mid back flip, kicking one Smith as he went. At the apex of his jump, he unleashed the bansaber once again and cut off the head of a replicant jockeying for position. Smith hurled deeper within himself as a slight tremor began to build in the ice locked cavern. One of the Smith's threatened Cucumba's presence with his barrage of fists, while the admin dispassionately evaded each blow.

Finally the mighty admin, weary of the game he was staging, slapped a clumsy, overthrown, telegraphed punch out of the way. Smith stumbled slightly into the attack, and hung on the edge of eternity as the Green Machine exploded into movement. The Jade Behemoth spun and kicked a smith approaching behind him, sending him in a tight twirl horizontally, and then turned back to the Smith who had been pulled off course by the block. The first smith watched in horror as the admin hurled him up onto the ice ledge. The second smith felt his spinal column collapse as the verdant leviathan landed a fully wound punch onto the top of his skull.

Both Smiths cratered the wall and fell out; only the first one survived the attack. The second crumpled into the broken body of a Zucchini Shock Troop. Cucumba leapt to the survivor as Smith continued to hear the words of his hated nemesis;

"You have all the power of my being, but not the nearest clue how to unlock it."

Cucumba hoisted the survivor up onto his feet, and smacked the broken glasses off of the dazed program. It barely responded, so the Admin terminated its functions. Cucumba spun him around by his collar, until his face was towards the cavern's roof. The Smith dreamily tried to rouse himself, but this host was practically destroyed. He vaguely felt terrible pressure around his neck and looked up to see the admin applying a dragon sleeper headlock. Then the ceiling rose high above him, and all was black.

Cucumba dusted himself off after the reverse DDT, and saw that a good portion of this host's skull had been shattered by the impact. "It's a shame you all die so easily, or I might develop a sense of satisfaction."

Smith roared as a third eye opened on his for head.
"You . . . ," Cucumba stared, mouth agape.
"I," replied Smith, "see EVERYTHING."
Deep within Cucumba's heavily shielded mind, he smiled.

In his moment of reverie, Smith had lost track of the floating ban daggers. They tore through his hand and bansaber hilt, eliciting a frenzied scream of disbelief.

Cucumba smiled inwardly once more, it would be time now to sacrifice this pawn. The ancient spam bane rushed the horrified, three eyed, handless Smith, ban saber at the ready. Smith saw the blade arc down with terrible accuracy for his head.

And in that moment, Cucumba was finished.

Smith roared in delight as his free hand clasped the Ban Saber, and his stub released the black, tarry virus deep into Cucumba's chest. The admin had no time to stop it, no time to change it, no time to retaliate.

"I won't be needing my arm anymore, I have both of yours."

The tar retreated, and much to Smith's annoyance, Cucumba was still Cucumba. "Great, a write protected BIOS? What next!"

Smith was in control of the body though, and deep within Cucumba's mind, a battle raged between Smith and Cucumba's will for the last bastion. It wasn't all he wanted, but it would have to do.

Smith laughed for a time, and then Cucumba laughed with him, they all laughed for a time more.

<hr>

Texas. Hot, dusty, boring Texas. But it was here that a certain Joshua Rowe guarded some very sensitive bodies and mainframe equipment, and it was a paying job. He jammed a little on his axe, pretending like he liked this gig. He hated his cigarettes, they tasted like wet garbage. But he was niccing bad, and this was just what he needed to steady his hands. Deep down inside, he wanted to be a juke box hero . . .

It was then that his rarely called upon post in the real world would be called into question.

Josh looked up at a crowd of largely built men, all of whom had snuck up on him, all wearing deep hoods and oozing menace.

"We desire entry into the database. The covenant has called us to do its bidding."
"For we are all one in purpose unified."
"Guided by he who is the first stone cast at Ragnarok."
"He who above all else is unstoppable."

lets get a surrogate ref in here please, Kelesk appears to have died waiting for me to post XD

I'll ref it.

..In time.

You'll ref it now, mister.

After reading both matches, Cuc's was more elaborate and had more detail (didn't really judge on spelling errors or anything) Cuc takes round 1 o_o

Well, you also have to remember that there was a difference of about a year from my round to his . Hopefully I've improved since then.

Excuses, excuses, I'll be handing you your ass again, in way less than a year now that I'm not doing things, and it'll be just like everyone else.

Tell you what, if you beat me, I'll lay my belt on the line Mr. I'm a moderator now.