KelesK - Chaos' Beginnings

This torture, this pain; it began many millennia ago. Back before the great Cucatoth’s presence was made known, even before he himself became a god. Before the mighty machine, Synth was created and before the sinister Rocky was unleashed upon the earth.

It began on an island in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle, where it lies today anyway. The island was far from tropical as a normal person would expect, being an island and all, though more of a desolate wasteland, few trees, little food, but that didn’t matter to us, we had our own means of getting what we needed to survive. The Tribe I grew up in were a small group of warlocks that were deeply knowledgeable in the darkest of ritualistic spells. My father was the tribal elder; he was an extremely powerful warlock who was challenged for leadership rites many times never once did he lose. To his dying day he defended his leadership of the tribe and eventually died of age. As his kin I was made the next tribal elder though it didn’t last long.

At the age of twenty two another warlock who had challenged my father many times stepped up to challenge me. I declined, requesting that it be held before the tribe as it should be. The dog accepted, waiting for me to turn my back before attacking me. When next I awoke I was being fished out of the ocean at a city called P’kyl; which I was told by a young man. He wore all neat white robes though most distinguishable was the jade jewellery he wore, later introducing himself as Cucumba. At the time I thought nothing of it, but who would; you’re only supposed to live once. He was also the child of a powerful man, though nothing like what I had been raised to. Cucumba at the time was a year older than me and extremely hospitable. He wasn’t a pickle at the time either. I ended up spending three days in the city before leaving. Where I went after that, I don’t even remember . . .

Years past and I still wandered the earth in search for something, something I knew was out there, I just didn’t know what or where it was; death finally catching up with me. Eventually my demonic powers faded to nothing, as did I eventually dying back outside the city of P’kyl and I was buried in the same cemetery as Cucumba’s father and mother.

The fading of my demonic powers allowed me to enter heaven; though not the part I thought I was going. I was assigned to train under the elemental gods, my past life as a warlock making me the perfect person. Eventually it was decided that I should be trained under the water god. He was, obviously, the one who taught me to use my destructive water powers, to some extent. Giving my previous chaotic powers as a warlock, which had since been erased from my mind with the rest of my memory when I entered heaven, I was somehow able to develop my ice techniques. The end result was my frozen arms and hair. After an eternity of training the others began to question me. They began to speculate about my siding with them and whether or not I would become a threat to them and/or heaven itself.

I used to train at a sacred place, shown to me by my old master, the god of water. He told me that it had special qualities about it. That it made you feel happiness and tranquillity, though it only affected those who were one with the element water. I too felt this bond, this strange yet peaceful feeling. It was a beautiful place, the trees were always green and the grass lush, I used to train there for days on end before collapsing in the crystal clear streams that webbed the area exhausted.

Then came that dreaded day; my training as an archangel was well over I was just resting from a previous day’s training when that girl showed up crying. How could I do anything but help and trust her, I was an angel after all. But she tried to possess me, her demonic energies coursing through my veins. Though it brought back no memories of my past, it did enhance my sleeping demonic powers.

Her voice still haunts even my dreams, the words she said still taunts me even though she never did possess me. Having to turn into an angel just to purge my soul of that ‘creature’ was bad enough, let alone what happened to me when I returned to heaven.

When I returned I was confronted by all but the god of water, the god of fire staring at me as if I were the devil himself.

[ha]

We know what happened, and we cannot allow you to return here, or back to earth.

The god of thunder backed him up too, the rest remained silent. Why? I couldn’t say, all I remember from that moment on was being encased in a stasis cube. I remember an eternity of insanity and then nothing. I can’t even remember how I was released, but I do know that there is one who does know, and I believe that he too is the reason I was originally capture, the girl; a VVU trap. Why? I don’t know. Magus probably saw a powerful recruit and tired to possess me, in an attempt to use me for his own evil bidding, much alike Rocky is now. Well . . . Before Magus’s disappearance anyway. The gods turning on me is somewhat understandable, though unexplainable. The demon within was purged though I believe Cucumba is behind my imprisonment. Finding and defeating him is the only way I will ever find out.

I later returned to earth and trained for a few more years watching as my powers grew and changed, the discovery of my ‘Chaos Control’ technique being a turning point in my abilities. I soon met a fighter by the name of Eaz. After spending a bunch of my time with him, he and I became good friends. Until one night we both got a vision, in it I accidentally wounded him in a scuffle between the two of us and something else which I could never quite make out. The morning after Eaz was gone.

A month or two later when I was meditating on a tropical beach Eaz showed back up, with little friendly intent. Unfortunately I showed him a side of myself that ultimately changed me and destroyed Eaz. The battle scared me as well, and unfortunately it took its toll. Eaz killed himself in an attempt to kill me, draining every little reserve of energy he had left from the fight and putting it all into one enormous attack which did little but faze me. I watch my only friend on earth die because of me and what I had become. Some . . twisted freak of heaven and hell’s nature locked within a shell with a human appearance.

The scars of that battle, like I said, took their toll when I soon met my next challenge . . Cucumba . . .

This story has a couple grammatical/spelling errors, but it does have a lot of potential.

Will be interesting to see how Kelesk became "The Spectre of Heaven and Hell."

I agree with Synth for the most part.


*ahem*

I agree that the story has potential. However, I can't help but feel that, at one or two points, some of the story elements seem almost transient (as if they fade out of the picture very readily after a new element is introduced - mind you, I'm a stickler for transitions thanks to my more recent Literary Analysis teachers ). Then again, it might go completely with your style (I cannot say I'm completely familiar with your style), not to mention it's an introduction - you may choose to develop some of those story elements in greater detail. But, still, it is quite well written with a few small grammatic errors, most specifically with sentence structure, but that's hardly a major concern.

Very well done. I look forward to the next installment.

Voices within my mind called out to me, gnawing on my sanity so I let myself go, taking a holiday cruise, but after I fell asleep all hell broke loose.

Many say a huge storm rolled in from nowhere and destroyed the boat, but I know this was not true. Cucumba had sought me out; the devastating seas were of his creation; my nightmarish reality as bad as a dream. I had awoken to an empty vessel, the ships crew and passengers, gone. Looking out over the storm enraged sea I saw a sight beyond anything a nightmare could conjure, it was dragging the boat. After the lapse in my memory I found myself washed ashore an island much alike the one I had met with Eaz on. It was a quite, serene place with crystal clear waters and white sand. There was nothing remaining of the boat apart from a few bits of driftwood that washed ashore then dragged back out by the next group of waves the rolled in. I was thinking to myself, wondering which long forgotten creature had summoned me here and for what reason, then he showed himself, his mere presence making my stomach turn.

He explained that he had been the one to seek me out, thirsting for combat against one of his own, a creature with rivalling power. Weakened from my last fight, I was in no condition to be fighting anyone remotely close to his stature but I never had a choice. His fighting art was beyond anything I ever expected, and this I learnt the hard way.

Seconds had past since the first attack was made and already Cucumba was on top, his fighting technique was perfect; beyond perfect. Every punch and kick he threw were chained together perfectly, he wasn’t fighting for the fun of it, he was fighting for what he was.

It wasn’t long before the extremities of the battle were brought to play, my elemental abilities being the first to challenge the Mad Old One but after various attempts ended up being useless against his prowess.

In all honesty this was the first time I had ever used any of my abilities to an unbelievable level, the mighty maelstrom of energy that followed with the equalled melee battle took a large strain on us both, both physically and mentally but by this time, the storm of energies had begun to tare apart the island, fissures erupting all over and huge cracks in the earth opened up revealing the burning hell below, the island had begun to break apart.

The shadow clones that I produced at that time were exactly the same as me, but slightly less intelligent and while they could fight to a similar manner to me, they could only achieve so much before being outsmarted; though all in all they gave Cucumba a run for his money. He ended up losing one of his two ban sabers in the skirmish, whether or not it was recovered, I do not know. I had him beat, but then it all took a turn for the worst.

Whether or not I am the only one to have seen Cucatoth or not I am unsure, but his image haunts my every waking moment. The creature truly is indescribable, closest way to describe it would be to say it likes like an octopus with small wings, though its tentacles were tipped with razor sharp barbs.

I barely remember how I managed to be on top of the fight by this time but somehow I was, Cucatoth slowly succumbing to my powers, though little did I know he was just biding his time until he got his chance, and that he did. I watched as that creature tore apart two shadow clones before in a frail attempt I tried to defeat it, trapping its appendages and attempting to destroy it once and for all, though it never came to be, the creature feeing itself from its icy prison and turning back into the more humane form of Cucumba.

Both the Soul Scythe and the Mad One’s ban saber being brought to bear before Cucumba, in what seemed to be a last ditch effort to win, threw his saber at me. Though I managed to block the weapon, when I tried to push it away it would not budge. I looked towards him, standing there with his arm outstretched his force poweres forcing his blade against mine harder than he himself ever could. Then the first of the last dramatic events began to unfold as the hilt of Cucumba’s ban saber cracked.

I thought that was it, the end. My foolish actions that followed ended as my demise. As I began bellowing the final taunt the Old One disappeared, somehow managing to get between myself and the Soul Scythe.

From there my memory is very vague, I remember him hitting my arms outward, both the scythe and the ban saber falling to the earth. I remember him saying something as he kicked me into something hard before my world turned in to a whirling green haze, then . . nothing . . .

When I awoke I was drifting in a stream of magma pain skewed around my body for long periods of time before I ended up blacking out again due to the pain. Then I was back on earth, lying in a hospital bed with doctors circled around me. At the time it never occurred to me that their interest was focused about my hair and arms, which were still frozen over. From there on out I remember very little, the replay of the events the unfolded against the Great One replayed and haunted my never-ending sleep until I came to.

At my bedside was a girl at whom at first I though was a nurse, but eventually realising she was asleep. When she awoke I found out she had been watching me for some time, watching each of my fights and that she had even recovered Cucumba’s ban saber from the battle. Though after talking with her more I found out she had known me far, far longer than any mortal could have, though she never said anything out of the ordinary. A few days later, she just disappeared without a trace.

It was not long after I fully recovered that I began to notice some strange changes . . .

Your getting better and better at keeping a frantic pace, and making the story very easy to visualize.

Keep it up, you got me completely interested in the next installment.